Fashion Lament

This post is not really about the Middle East. Still, this is my blog and I will damn well write about whatever I feel like. End of disclaimer.

Today I went shopping. It is sale season after all and summer in Abu Dhabi means over half my wardrobe is way too hot and/or tight, or just too revealing to wear in public. It’s an Islamic nation after all, I don’t care that British women seem to think hot pants and strapless tops are OK, they’re not. Not at all.

Shopping for clothes used to be pretty much my favourite thing in the world, but it isn’t anymore. No, not because I got fat (I didn’t!), but because the… “spark” is gone. I used to be able to fall helplessly in love with a cute dress or squeal in joy at the sight of the perfect cardigan, but those days are gone. I don’t really know why. Yes, I realize this is about as “first world problem” (I do love that term) as it gets, and if that offends you I suggest you go and donate last month’s salary to Doctors Without Borders RIGHT NOW. If you didn’t spend it all on shoes yet, that is. In other words, shut up.

I just can’t find those kind of clothes anymore. There’s always something just not right; the wrong fabric, some ugly glittery applique, too short, too tight, wrong cut, ugly plastic see-through straps (eeewwww), wrong colour, stupid plasticky belt, empire waist (hello fashion designers, not all women have massive knockers, thanks), impractical straplessness… You get the idea.

In addition, I keep getting the feeling that clothes are made for midgets. I’m 1.74m. This is not exceptionally tall. Yet, half the dresses I find look like they were made for a six year-old when I try them on. Waist at the ribcage and hemline just below the ass is NOT a good look, at least on me. Don’t you even dare suggest I wear a legging under it, if anyone ever utters the word “legging” in my direction again I swear I will stab them with a rusty spoon.

I know right, MY LIFE IS SO HARD!