Bed cake

You know how, sometimes, you come across something that you just do not understand. At all. It’s not the same as not liking it (like coriander or Jennifer Aniston), or thinking it’s stupid (like rap music or Twilight). It’s IN-COM-PRE-HEN-SION: the inability or failure to comprehend; lack of understanding. I understand Twilight. I understand that every fifteen-year-old girl gets weak in the knees at the thought of a sexy superman vampire being obsessed with her, I do. I just think it’s stupid, but then I’m not fifteen anymore.

My latest episode of “what the f***, what is this, what purpose does it serve, why do people want it, I don’t UNDERSTAA-HAAAND!” came to pass when I was unsuspectingly leafing through the weekly deals flyer of our local Co-op. Because you know, maybe they have a two-for-one deal on chocolate biscuits. One of this week’s bargains was a set of weird polyester bedcovers with matching pillows in different sizes. Not sheets or blankets, that you SLEEP UNDER because it is a BED after all which is for SLEEPING. No, these were DAYTIME BED DECORATIONS. Including those really stupid cylinder-shaped pillows that make no sense at all. Huh? Husband caught me making really weird expressions and, when confronted with the offending photo of bed… stuff, explained that it’s an “Arab woman” thing. There are quite a lot of “Arab woman” things, but this one is my favorite so far.

Me: “What the hell is this?”
Husband: “It’s a bed set. You put it on the bed during the day.”
Me: “Why?”
Husband: “Uhh, because it looks pretty I guess.”
Me: “Where do they put all that when they actually go and sleep in the bed? Do they have a second bed with normal sheets in a secret room that they sleep in?”
Husband: “No, they usually put it in a chest at the foot of the bed or something.”
Me: “But WHY?!”
Husband: “You are cute.”
Me: “It looks like a wedding cake! Why do people want to make their bed look like a wedding cake?!”
Husband: “I love you.”
Me: “I don’t understand!”
(husband turns back to playing Space Marine)
Me: “Aaaah!”

You know that movie “Along Came Polly” with Jennifer Aniston? I don’t like Jennifer Aniston, but I still watched this movie at some point. Probably on a plane, because for some reason the only two types of movie you can choose from on planes are action flicks with Vin Diesel or romantic comedies with Jennifer Aniston, and I like Vin Diesel even LESS.
Either way, there is a scene in this movie where Ben Stiller throws a hissyfit at his wife or girlfriend (who is played by that redhead from Will and Grace) because she has a ton of decorative pillows on the bed. It was sort of funny, in the way that these kind of movies make you go “ha ha, that is so funny” when watching it in company, just to be polite, but if you’re watching it alone you won’t so much as twitch.
But that’s a movie. I never thought that people would have decorative pillows on their bed in real life. I mean, really? Decorative pillows? On the bed? Who are you, Martha freaking Stewart? People actually have time to decorate their bed? I’d rather decorate it with my lazy ass sleeping in it until noon, thanks very much.