Kids are funny

I’m about to start my fifth month working as a teaching assistant in a local British primary school. I won’t deny that being around kids all day sometimes makes me really wonder if I should have any myself, because good grief they can be annoying. They’re also often blatantly racist and sexist, which is made worse by the fact that they obviously did not come to the conclusion that all South-East Asians are “dirty people from the Indian jungle” by themselves. Yet, at other times they are cute, smart and sometimes outright hilarious, and I have collected a handful of timeless quotes by ten-year-olds here for your reading pleasure.

Boy#1, when asked to tuck in the left side of his shirt: “But Miss, everyone has a dark side!”

Boy#2, on evolution: “First there were the dinosaurs. Then the first human, then Thomas Edison and then us.”

Boy#3: “What would happen if I just run away from school and never come back?” Me: “You’ll never have an education and be dumb your whole life.” Him: “Okay!”

Girl#1: “What is your star sign Miss?” Me: “Virgo” Her: “Ohh, me too! No wonder I like you so much, I always like other virgins!” (aww…)

Boy#4, after losing a fraction game: “If we’re playing this again next time I’m going to hide in the toilet!”

Boy#5: “I have about a million cousins so I always have to go to birthday parties. It is very annoying.”

Boy#6, after misbehaving for an hour: “Miss! I get green right?!” (he has a behaviour chart which needs to be coloured green, yellow or red after every lesson) Me: “No, you’ve been very rude this lesson so I’m giving you yellow.” Him: “But why?!” Me:”…because you were being rude.” Him: “But WHY?!”

The same Boy#6, when told to write a sorry letter: “Why do I have to write this?” Me: “Because you kicked Other Boy in the face.” Him: “So?” Me: “Kicking people in the face is very rude, bad behaviour not to mention dangerous. You have to apologize.” Him: “But it wasn’t very hard.”